Showing posts with label Gender Inequality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gender Inequality. Show all posts

Yes, Kangana is a WITCH

A newly married young girl, who smoothly adjusted in her new role as a wife, was once told by her in-laws that she had probably cast a spell on their son as he always supported her, sometimes much against their wishes. What they probably could not understand was that it was no magic that had won her husband over but the love of the woman.

In fact, it is not unusual to see women being labeled or called names. A recent controversy where an actress was called a psychopath and a witch in the same breath should not really shock us. In our society a strong woman who wins personal or professional battles without support is usually not applauded; instead, people busy themselves in finding a reason for her success as if there was a prize to it.

At work, when a woman earns an impressive increment or that well deserved promotion, people in hushed tones discuss why she had it so easy which usually ends up with an affair or closeness to the boss. Obviously, nobody cares to recall the long hours spent and the project deadlines that she has met almost every time.

In our society, the easiest way to put down a woman is to hit where it hurts the most. Point at her morality or question her sanity and you have instantly got a strong, independent woman questioning herself.

It is our society’s inability to accept and deal with women who know what they want and work to get it without playing the damsel in distress that brings out this insecurity. The fact that a woman can do it all and get what a man can get exposes a helplessness that can only be cured if it throws back the woman back to gallows of darkness. Where she must cry and beg for help. In this age old power struggle, it is scary to let any woman rise. It is because, a successful woman would inspire her clan and that can turn the tables overnight in our patriarchal society.
So a woman who expresses her sexuality and chooses her own life partner becomes a slut. A woman who has a sharp mind is usually the black magician who burns the midnight oil while pricking voodoo dolls. And God bless the woman with a sharp tongue. She is the worst of them all. For it is this woman who questions and answers back. No wonder, in this side of the world, everybody wants a well educated bride so that she can be shown off as a trophy but nobody wants her to speak!

Thankfully, the new breed of  women have developed a strong immunity towards all this name calling and are striving harder than before to attain their individual potentials, while the world is left gaping too awestruck to call her anything but a STAR, and a magical one at that!


Dream Job – Made in China

I had the perfect job. The one I always wanted—in an exciting industry, for a big name company, with a title that says I get to do what I love all day long. Except for that—well, I hate it.

It's painful to admit it. My job went from being the greatest job ever to being a horrible job. It took a few months so I didn't completely realize it was happening. And speaking from experience, the grieving and recovery process is quite long.

I know, at some point in your career – maybe at multiple points – you’re probably going to have a bad boss but when that person turns into a real nightmare, it’s explainable. And as it turns out, a terrible boss doesn't just impact the way you work in the office. It affects your entire life.

...And if your peers are women! Forget the sisterhood. Forget smashing a hole through the glass ceiling and throwing a rope ladder down to her younger female colleagues. The Queen Bee is alive and well and — watch out — possibly sitting at the desk next to you.

A Queen Bee is someone who has worked her way up to the top in a male-dominated organisation! Rest I leave it up to you to decide and in my case I had two of them.

I have been witness to people exploiting their positions for their personal gains. These ‘higher authority’s feedback were biased and echoed no work ethic. When the time came for my evaluations, my bosses gave me a 15 min. lecture about how to ‘act’ like the Queen Bees. I guess, such is the way to climb up the ladder in A-grade media houses in India. Shorter your pants, bigger your salary!

"In this economy," we're told, "you should be thankful you have a job at all." Well, yes... But also; no.

Being able to support yourself is important, of course, but anyone who is aware of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs will tell you that once your basic needs are covered, you'll automatically yearn for more. You may have a job, a home, a husband and children, and still wonder, 'Is that all there is?'

If you're young and ambitious, it's not enough to have a job - you have to have the job. There is so much emphasis on a coveted career: a job that doesn't just sound cool, but which gives other people a case of the green-eyed monster. When I was a kid, everyone wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer. These days, we want to be do-it-yourself millionaires, zippy entrepreneurs or wacky internet personalities.
For the people stuck in this trap, the appearance of the job matters more than the reality. But why slave away to impress people you don't even like?

But , imagine you’re “living the dream,” as you told your proud parents and envious friends upon receiving the offer letter. When you walk through those fancy doors to your fairy-tale
job every day with Katy Perry’s “Firework” blasting in your head, all you can think is: “The perks! The title! The bragging rights!” Who cares that you’re working 90 hours a week and your boss is a borderline psychopath? You’ve “made it,” and there’s no looking back!

With time I figured out, I was spending most of my effort each day trying to take on the persona I needed for the position I wanted—a persona that just didn’t come naturally to me. It was exhausting, and no matter how hard I tried to force it to be a fit, it just wasn’t.

My admission came when I got off of work exhausted and bullied by my bosses, yet again, raced to the nearest pub to meet my girlfriends, and burst into tears when they asked how my day was. (Of course, while sobbing, I swore up and down, “I’m really happy though, guys!” until they held a compact mirror in my face and asked, “Oh, really? Is that what happiness looks like?” (Touché.)

I struggled to get past the feeling that I was giving up the perfect opportunity—the opportunity I’d been wanting for so long, one that “most people would kill for.” And one day, I decided to throw my resignation letter up on my boss’s face who’s nothing but a faff. And I did just that.


It took a while for me to recover from such a trauma. My fiancé who’s my husband now, were very supportive. At times, it’s very important to have a partner who understands your needs even before you say. Yes, here comes the best part of this job – I got married. And like a knight in armour (pun intended) R flew me in his (well...Indigo’s) jet and I went from a world of meetings and suits where people listened to my opinion to being a nobody writing a book in a cafe.